The little girl went to church for the first time. As she was leaving with her parents, the minister asked how she had liked church.
"I liked the music," she replied, "but the commercial was too long."
"I liked the music," she replied, "but the commercial was too long."
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Good Tax Accountant
How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.
How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.
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Second Notice
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
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Funny Jokes Gambling
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." The croupier suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and as the ball settles into the 41 slot the woman falls over into a dead faint.
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." The croupier suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and as the ball settles into the 41 slot the woman falls over into a dead faint.
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The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
"I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations. .. nothing."
"I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations. .. nothing."
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A Long Drive Home
Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450.
Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450.
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