Funny Jokes

Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.

Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.

Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.

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Two hunters went out rabbit hunting when one had to poop real hard. So he went behind a bush while the other hunter found a rabbit and started gutting it. After he finished with the guts he threw them behind the bush where the other hunter was at. The other hunterr finnaly came out, but he was very pale. "What's wrong?" asked the first hunter. "I pooped so hard my guts came out! But with the Lord's help and a stick, I put them back."

 

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Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a
strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No

 

 

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Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.

Susie: It grew on company time.

Boss: Not all that hair.

Susie: I didn't get it all cut.

 

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Tidy Housekeeper

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."