Seeing Red, White and Blue
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
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Contacts
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
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Final Requests
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales? " asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales? " asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
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Rainy Landing
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
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Fire Hydrant Factory
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
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Funny Jokes
Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
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