THE PERFECT GUY ... EVERY GIRL DREAM.
SHAYARI
PYAR KE SITARE JAB
GARDISH MEIN HOTE HAIN,
LAILA GHAR MEIN AUR
MAJANOO JAIL MEIN HOTE HAIN.
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PYAR MEIN KISI NE DHOKHA,
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI,
HUM WO MAJANOO HAIN,
JISANE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI,
************ ********* ********
MERI DIWANAGI KO DEKH KE MUSKURAT HAIN KYON,
MAIN JITANA PAAS JAUN UTANA DUR JAATE HAIN KYON,
KUCH TO VAJAH JARUR HOGI UNAKI BERUKHI KI,
MUJHE AISE HER PAL SATATE HAIN KYON?
************ ********* ********
MERE ALFAZON KO JHOOTH MAT SAMAJHNA,
YAAD AATI HAIN BAHUT JALDI MILNE KI DUA KARANA,
JEE RAHA THA TUMHARE NAAM PAR,
MARR JAUN TO BEWAFA NA SAMAJHNA.
************ ********* ********
JAMEEN BAN JAAYE KAAGAZ KI
AUR SAMUNDAR HO SYAAHI KA,
PHIR BHI KALAM LIKH NAHI SAKTI,
DARD JUDAI KA.
Hindi SMS
Zindagi char din chandani muskurana
Bhul se be kisi ko na rulana
Dushman mile samane to gale lagana,
Taklif pade to is dost ko mobile lagana.
Bahut cheejen lut chuki hai,
Tujh se dil lagane ke baad,
Kamare ki her cheej check karate hain ab,
Ek tere aane se pahele aur ek tere jaane ke baad.
Humne insaan badalate dekha hai,
Jab doob rahi thi kashti hamari,
Humne sahil par doston ko hanste dekha hai.
Chandani raton me sara jahan sota hai,
Kisi ki yadon me koi badnaseeb rota hai,
Khuda kisi ko mohabbat pe fida na kare,
Agar kare to kayamat tak use juda na kare.
************ ********* ********* ********* *******
Jaan se be jyada unhe pyar karate the,
Yaad unhe din raat kiya karate the,
Ab un rahon se guzara nahi jata,
Jahan baithkar unka intejar kiya karate the.
Choot chalisa
YAKEEN NAHEEN KAR PAATI HOON,
TUMNE BHI MUJHKO YAAD KIYA!
AUR MAIN HOON AISI PAGLI,
TERI KHATIR KHUDA KO BHULA DIYA!!
JAB CHANDA MUSKAATA THHA,
MAST HAWA JAB BEHTI THHI!
YAAD TUMHARI AATE HI,
GUDGUDI CHOOT MEIN HOTI THHI!!
RIMJHIM-RIMJHIM BARKHA MEIN,
JAB BILKUL TANHA MAIN HOTI!
TAKIYE PE SAR KO RAKH KARKE,
TERE LUND KI YAAD MEIN THHI ROTI!!
SOCH KE DIL BHAR AATA HAI,
SANG HOTE TO KYA HO SAKTA THHA!
MAIN HAR PAL CHOOMA KARTI TUMKO,
HAR LAMHA MERA HO SAKTA THHA!!
AB JAB TUM AA JAOGE,
CHUN LENGE HUM PHIR SE KADIYAN!
CHOOMUNGI HUR PAL LUND KO,
MADHUR BANAYENGE GHADIYAN!!
EK SAAL SE TANHAA HOON,
MILNE PAR AANKHEN BHAR AAYENGI!
TERE BADAN KO CHHOOTE HI,
CHOOT MERI BEH JAAYEGI!!
MAIN HAATH TUMHARE BAANDHOONGI,
PHIR LUND KO JEE BHAR CHOOSOONGI!
RO-ROKAR KAHOGE CHODO DIMPLE,
MAIN GHANTON TAK BAS CHOOSOONGI!!
JAB LUND TUMHARA ROYEGA,
PHIR CHOOSOONGI MAIN NIPPLE!
TAB JAAKE SAMJHOGE TUM,
IK BARAS RAHI KAISE DIMPLE!!
PHIR TUM MAAFI MAANGOGE,
MAIN PHIR BHI ROOTHOONGI TUMSE!
TUM KAAN KO HAATH LAGAOGE,
CHATO MERI, PHIR KAHOONGI TUMSE!!
TUM CHOOT MEIN JEEBH GHUSAOGE,
MERE SHIKWE BEH JAAYENGE!
JAANGHON MEIN TUMHE DABATE HI,
FAASLE SAB MIT JAAYENGE!!
MAMMO KO SAHLATE HEE,
GAAND PE HAATH FIRAATE HEE!
JAB LUND CHOOT MEIN JAAYEGA,
MIT JAAYENGE SAB GILE MERE,
PHIR, DIL SE DIL MIL JAAYEGA!!
KABHI MAIN UPAR AA JAUNGI,
KABHI MUJHE BANA LENA GHODI!
HUM TUM IK DOOJE KO CHODENGE,
LAKHON MEIN EK, HUMAARI JODI!!
MOHAN MUJHE BANA LO APNA,
KOI NAHEEN HAI TUM JAISA!
HAR PAL ROYI HOON MAIN TUM BIN,
HUA JO THHA, PHIR NAA HO WAISA!!
True choot chalisa
YAKEEN NAHEEN KAR PAATI HOON,
TUMNE BHI MUJHKO YAAD KIYA!
AUR MAIN HOON AISI PAGLI,
TERI KHATIR KHUDA KO BHULA DIYA!!
TUMNE BHI MUJHKO YAAD KIYA!
AUR MAIN HOON AISI PAGLI,
TERI KHATIR KHUDA KO BHULA DIYA!!
JAB CHANDA MUSKAATA THHA,
MAST HAWA JAB BEHTI THHI!
YAAD TUMHARI AATE HI,
GUDGUDI CHOOT MEIN HOTI THHI!!
RIMJHIM-RIMJHIM BARKHA MEIN,
JAB BILKUL TANHA MAIN HOTI!
TAKIYE PE SAR KO RAKH KARKE,
TERE LUND KI YAAD MEIN THHI ROTI!!
SOCH KE DIL BHAR AATA HAI,
SANG HOTE TO KYA HO SAKTA THHA!
MAIN HAR PAL CHOOMA KARTI TUMKO,
HAR LAMHA MERA HO SAKTA THHA!!
AB JAB TUM AA JAOGE,
CHUN LENGE HUM PHIR SE KADIYAN!
CHOOMUNGI HUR PAL LUND KO,
MADHUR BANAYENGE GHADIYAN!!
EK SAAL SE TANHAA HOON,
MILNE PAR AANKHEN BHAR AAYENGI!
TERE BADAN KO CHHOOTE HI,
CHOOT MERI BEH JAAYEGI!!
MAIN HAATH TUMHARE BAANDHOONGI,
PHIR LUND KO JEE BHAR CHOOSOONGI!
RO-ROKAR KAHOGE CHODO DIMPLE,
MAIN GHANTON TAK BAS CHOOSOONGI!!
JAB LUND TUMHARA ROYEGA,
PHIR CHOOSOONGI MAIN NIPPLE!
TAB JAAKE SAMJHOGE TUM,
IK BARAS RAHI KAISE DIMPLE!!
PHIR TUM MAAFI MAANGOGE,
MAIN PHIR BHI ROOTHOONGI TUMSE!
TUM KAAN KO HAATH LAGAOGE,
CHATO MERI, PHIR KAHOONGI TUMSE!!
TUM CHOOT MEIN JEEBH GHUSAOGE,
MERE SHIKWE BEH JAAYENGE!
JAANGHON MEIN TUMHE DABATE HI,
FAASLE SAB MIT JAAYENGE!!
MAMMO KO SAHLATE HEE,
GAAND PE HAATH FIRAATE HEE!
JAB LUND CHOOT MEIN JAAYEGA,
MIT JAAYENGE SAB GILE MERE,
PHIR, DIL SE DIL MIL JAAYEGA!!
KABHI MAIN UPAR AA JAUNGI,
KABHI MUJHE BANA LENA GHODI!
HUM TUM IK DOOJE KO CHODENGE,
LAKHON MEIN EK, HUMAARI JODI!!
MOHAN MUJHE BANA LO APNA,
KOI NAHEEN HAI TUM JAISA!
HAR PAL ROYI HOON MAIN TUM BIN,
HUA JO THHA, PHIR NAA HO WAISA!!
Jokes of all times
Seeing Red, White and Blue
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
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Contacts
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
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Final Requests
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales? " asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales.
"Why Bloomingdales? " asked the rabbi.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
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Rainy Landing
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
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Fire Hydrant Factory
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained: "You can't park anywhere near this place!"
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Funny Jokes
Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
More Funny Jokes
The little girl went to church for the first time. As she was leaving with her parents, the minister asked how she had liked church.
"I liked the music," she replied, "but the commercial was too long."
"I liked the music," she replied, "but the commercial was too long."
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Good Tax Accountant
How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.
How do you know you've met a good tax accountant?
He has a loophole named after him.
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Second Notice
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
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Funny Jokes Gambling
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." The croupier suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and as the ball settles into the 41 slot the woman falls over into a dead faint.
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." The croupier suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and as the ball settles into the 41 slot the woman falls over into a dead faint.
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The Judge asked the defendant, "Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"
"I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations. .. nothing."
"I do."
"Now what do you say to defend yourself?"
"Your Honor, under those limitations. .. nothing."
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A Long Drive Home
Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450.
Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450.
Funny Jokes
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.
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Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel.
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Two hunters went out rabbit hunting when one had to poop real hard. So he went behind a bush while the other hunter found a rabbit and started gutting it. After he finished with the guts he threw them behind the bush where the other hunter was at. The other hunterr finnaly came out, but he was very pale. "What's wrong?" asked the first hunter. "I pooped so hard my guts came out! But with the Lord's help and a stick, I put them back."
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Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a
strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a
strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No
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Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.
Susie: It grew on company time.
Boss: Not all that hair.
Susie: I didn't get it all cut.
Susie: It grew on company time.
Boss: Not all that hair.
Susie: I didn't get it all cut.
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Tidy Housekeeper
The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."
The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."
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