Who is a lecturer?

Who is a lecturer?
A having a bad habbit of speaking when someone is sleeping.
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Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.

But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.

Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.

Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."

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A yogi walked into a pizza parlor.

"Make me one with everything," he said to the waiter.

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"

The proprietor said, "Change must come from within."

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This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X)

X: Which shaving cream do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which aftershave do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which deodorant do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which toothpaste do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which shampoo do you use?

Y: Baba's

X: Which socks do you use?

Y: Baba's

X (Frustrated) : Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company???

..

..

Y: No, He is my roommate

Cheers to all the bachelors of the world!!!!

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Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.  

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Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!  

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Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.  

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Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.  

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