Santa - Banta Jokes

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

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Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

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Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha  

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Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

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Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...  

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Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !    

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Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..! 

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Top 9 Funniest News p aper   Classifieds
 
(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
 
 
 
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1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)
 
 
 
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2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.                               
(sure...thanx for the warning!)
 

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3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)
 

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4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)
 

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5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)
 

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6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)
 

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7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
(uh...huh!)
 

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8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
 

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9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work)
 

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